Why can I love you

Two years ago, in order to repair the scars in my heart, I chose to return to school to study and forget that relationship. A year ago, due to the requirements of the school, I went overseas for a ten-month internship. I have long been accustomed to the days of a person, and no one cares about the days when no one hurts, so I become more and more silent. Sometimes even if I feel lonely, I am willing to enjoy it alone. I didn’t want to go to a foreign country, but on second thought, maybe ten months can adjust my current state well, and I don’t want to go to that country on schedule, with a very complicated mood, with his loneliness for a long time. I have never expected to meet any kind of people or feelings overseas. For a woman like me, feelings are already very luxurious. Even a friendship cannot be expected. I happened to find that forum, which was free to express my mood, and began to try to post some mood posts. Looking at the responses of the Forum people, my mood did not feel so lonely. Fate is such a thing that you can meet and cannot seek. Maybe it was God’s will. I met you and didn’t notice your ID very much at first. Until I saw a post you replied later, I was so serious and full of true feelings, so gradually pay attention to you. Most of my posts in the Forum received your attention and reply, which touched me a little. I am people who are easily moved by details, since I met you, I have a feeling that the heart that has been sealed for two years is slowly opened by some kind of power again. Your first impression is neither bad nor bad, because your reply is always a bit far-fetched, and your words are still a bit unruly. I don’t know whether it is a common disease of injured people, and it is easy to like people who take the initiative to treat themselves well, no matter the reason or the place. I am a woman who is forgetful. I can’t remember the process when I get familiar with you. However, the moments that touched me often remind me of and linger in my mind. Maybe you don’t remember it, but I never forget it. I once remembered that you said you were in the wilderness, and you expected someone to accompany you, which made me feel distressed. Because I deeply know the feeling that no one can speak alone or in different places. Such loneliness is the worst at night. However, why can I accompany you? We are just friends, friends who have not even met, can we help you? I can only continue to feel distressed. I can only try my best to eliminate your loneliness. I also thought that I would visit you at the place where you work, but I shelved it for various reasons until I went back to China first. I know that our fate was missed like this. I once remembered that it was a waste of money to call you in a funny way, and you, from then on, I will call you back after you press it, I won’t answer my call again. This touched me for a long time, because you are the only friend around me who will do this. Sometimes I think that if I didn’t meet you, maybe I would really lose the ability to speak Chinese, because in this strange environment, I can’t speak the language of this country, and others can’t speak Chinese, no one can communicate with me fluently and smoothly in Chinese. Fortunately, when I met you, I was able to say a few words to you every week to exercise my listening and speaking ability in Chinese. I once remembered the jokes we played, how I wish they could come true. Maybe you were casual, but I took them to heart quietly. Maybe there is no possibility at all, but it gives me a happy moment. Friends can talk like this. In those ten months, you are the only one. I am people who are not good at communication can talk with me. There are really few friends around me. Do you know? I have already listed you as one of them. I once told with emotion about the changes of my friends around me. How many facts and people could I change in this year? I described my depression in the post and got your guidance. Some things, don’t force, some people, don’t miss, this is what you taught me, do you remember? Maybe I have never told you that every time I talk to you, I have a feeling of relief. If I let go, my heart will not hurt. If I figure it out, the trouble will be gone. I don’t know when I began to like you or when I began to love you. I only know that some habits are slowly disappearing and some habits are gradually developing. In foreign countries, I didn’t think I would often go to Q because I didn’t want to contact my domestic friends. However, since I have your number in Q, I often have no intention or intention, get on the Penguin when you are free, and see if you are there. The avatar is bright or dark. Every time I chat with you, I feel a little nervous, because I am afraid that you are very busy. I am afraid that you will not talk with me after chatting for a while, and I am afraid that I don’t know what to talk with you. Your personal signature always makes me feel so distressed, so sad and so hopeful that you can change your signature and see you happy. After all, wine can’t solve worries, and a song can’t relieve the loneliness in the heart. Men with good power in the heart endure the loneliness that ordinary people can’t imagine. I dare not say how much I know you, but sometimes I can feel your mood at that time. You have assumed the heavy responsibility of supporting the family overseas, which makes me admire very much. You are traveling outside for relatives and lovers. I am used to having any problems. I will complain with you first and then look forward to your advice. You are very straightforward and will help directly, those who can’t help will point out a way for me to try it myself, so in those ten months, I have learned more than one solution to the problem, as long as I think about it seriously. I am also used to paying attention to you and your trends, because I know that you have been in that forum for three years and have many friends, you will show up and have a chat or something. Being able to follow you silently was all my happiness at that time. I am a woman who looks careless and likes to laugh, but her heart is fragile and vulnerable, so she is always afraid of losing. Ironically, I have never got anything from you, but I have been worried about losing something. If I am a friendship and make my own claim that EARTHRISE love, I know that the person who needs to be sober at last is me. When I got the news that you were going back to China, I was very surprised, because I thought that you should continue to struggle in your favorite place, so I was a little flustered. Your leaving, it means that I will become lonely again and no one will talk with me. After you left, I have been waiting for you to give me the number in our country. I can call you at the first time to greet your recent situation. Is such a Miss already deeply in love? But I seriously thought about it, why can I love you? I am such a selfish woman, I only hope others treat me well, but I always give my feelings passively. I am such a lonely woman, I only hope others can understand my heart, but I always forget that I should go out of my own world. I am such a weak woman, I only hope not to be hurt again, but I am always hurting myself with others’ carelessness. I am a woman full of shortcomings, I am a woman who is not worthy of anyone’s love, I am a woman who can never get what she wants. There is no reason to love you, so I choose to escape. The furthest distance in the world is the distance between heart and heart. You once walked in so close that I was so smart that I was at a loss. I don’t know if you had this feeling? Sometimes I think about you and when you will contact me, but I don’t want to dial your number voluntarily, and then I receive your call unexpectedly, is this a tacit understanding between heart and heart? Sometimes wandering in this strange city, I imagined that you were beside me and wandering with me. Maybe, all these are my thoughts. I really think a lot of them, which makes me panic about our current relationship. In the past, I always thought that love would deteriorate and family affection could last forever. But since I met you, I know friendship can last forever, while others depend on God’s will. Therefore, I am always used to calling you HH children’s shoes. I hope we are classmates and our friendship will not change with time and place. I don’t like you to call yourself a brother, because all the brothers I know have disappeared in my life for various reasons. I can’t bear to give up the result that you gave me in the end, however, why do I love you? I have no beautiful appearance, no noble temperament, no wealth, I am such an ordinary woman, I am passers-by buried in the crowd, I am one that is often neglected. In contrast, you are all seats are occupied by eminent guests, you can talk and laugh freely, every advantage of you is so charming, you are such an excellent person, excellent enough to make me feel worship. After returning to China, I heard that you went back again and began to weaken the contact. This is the inevitable result and the ending I expected. I know that I will never receive your call, your concern and your greetings again. I know that I will start to get used to the lonely days,, it doesn’t matter, because I have no reason to love someone. In your life, I am willing to be just a passer-by; In my heart, there will always be a place for you. I still hope you have another good start, where you will be happy for a lifetime. I believe and know that you will. What’s the point of saying so much? There is no reason to love you, I just think about it. Maybe you never know, at that time, I used to be so Aquacome you, I used to be so eager to get your care, I used to love you so much. [Postscript] expect you to be happy, and you must be happy.

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